Saturday, January 12, 2008

Cutting

I'm about 3,000 into Spider-Girl 15, but for the last couple of days I haven't been that happy with the way the current scene is playing out. I made a decision just a second ago to rewrite, but that means losing a fair chunk of it - and then I figured I'd just share a paragraph I'm cutting.
Looking around, she saw one of the guards coming back toward her as he made a circuit. Slowly, she crossed her legs, lifting them up so that her hemline slid down, revealing more of her stockings and even a touch of garter. Sure enough, the guard noticed, slowing down to look at her. With her mouth taped, Betty had to make her eyes do most of the work; she gave him her best come-hither stare, and come hither he did. He stopped right in front of her as she uncrossed her legs then re-crossed them, surprising herself at how good the stockings felt. The guard leaned down towards her, putting one hand on her leg, sliding it up the fabric.
Like I said, it's cut... don't worry, there will be plenty of stuff to compensate.

Bugger-all feedback on issue 14, by the way. What, did everyone hate the Dynamic Duo?

3 comments:

  1. Whoops, actually the chapter was quite good.

    M.B.

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  2. been out of town for about a week, but the new ish is great, GW. can't wait for more.


    JF

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  3. I swear, the two of you are like Laurel and Hardy. I'll have to start calling you the Anonymous Brothers. :)

    Anyway, thank you both for the comments... next issue isn't too far away, I hope. ;)

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