The last two years and oh hey I finished a book

No, not that one. No the other one. Yeah, that.

Alright, I forgive you for having no freaking clue what I'm talking about. Let's recap:

Last week - in the same cafe I'm writing at now, as it happens - I finished the first draft of what I've previously referred to as 'The Babysitter' (which is not the title). From the looks of it, it took about six years to complete, from first words to last. Of course, plenty of distractions along the way.

But more importantly, it's done. Finally. To say this thing felt like a millstone around my neck - wait, let's back up again.

In the summer of 2013 I finished Practice to Deceive, which had long been also known as 'Housesitting' in proto-form. I published it then too. I had been storing ideas up for a sequel (in fact, sequels, plural) but when the dust settled on it, I decided I wanted to finish off one of my other half-done projects instead of starting fresh on said sequel.

Eventually I settled on 'Babysitter' and started hacking away. And then, as usual, my world turned upside down. For not the first time in the last few years, I experienced a layoff, had to get temporary work, then job-hunt, get a new job, move house and then start said new job. Nothing like that to stop you writing for a while.

Unfortunately for me things didn't get much better. Over the course of 2014 I began, I now recognize, to slip into serious depression. Near the end of the year I left new job behind, and at last, got professional help for the depression. Starting 2015 I was in a better place in a lot of ways, but I still wasn't writing much.

It's taken a few more months to get anywhere close to an even keel. If you've ever heard me expound on this previously - I don't really believe in writer's block. However I now do believe that there can be legitimate and very real reasons that prevent you from writing. It's not the lack of muse, or lack of ideas, or whatever romantic reasons you attach to it. It's just the inability to write, and in my case, it was very much linked to depression.

I make you read this boring summary of my life for the past two years, give or take, to get you to this point.

So as I said, I finished a book. And it's not that one - the sequel to Practice to Deceive - it's the other one, 'The Babysitter'. (Which I previously published a sort of 'teaser' of, which really doesn't have jack-all to do with the actual book, so don't take it as a real preview.)

And like I say, it was a millstone. For those of you not into medieval allegory, it was a struggle, as you might have noticed before. A pain. Especially in the last section, and especially the fucking ending, not to mince my fucking words. I'm still not sure about it. Like the last book, now it's done I'm letting it sit. I'm letting it marinate. After all this is a first draft. It might be total bollocks.

By the way I say 'book' but it might end up being 'books'. I have a feeling it may be separated into two or even three. Partially that's because it's actually longer than Practice to Deceive. In normal paperback terms it's about two books in length. Partially it's also because of the self-publishing market (see my previous post on that) but also partially it's because I'm not convinced this will be everyone's cup of tea, so I want to give you an 'out' if you don't like it. It's pretty different from Practice to Deceive. Yes of course it still involves female masking and disguise and sex, but of course, however it's still quite a different story with a different couple of protagonists.

Hey for all I know, I might show the cleaned up draft to my test readers and they may tell me to lock it in a (digital) drawer for a decade and never reveal it to anyone. In which case this prick tease will have been for naught.

Anyway, the millstoney-struggle of this book has been partially why it's taken so long to do, although see also layoff, depression, job hunting and so on. It's definitely been part of why I've been so silent. But I'm hoping to be slightly less silent from now on. A promise I'll probably break.

What next? I'm not sure. In part I know I have to work harder on 'other' writing. My years are advancing (alright, I'm not exactly ancient but it has been - gulp - about 16 years since I started publicly writing this stuff) and I'm getting cranky about only being able to talk about my work with, well, you, you anonymous faceless (kinky) crowd, you. So I'll be taking time to write Real Stuff.

However, the masked mistress, she is a sly seductress. Even the other day, thinking about what I've scribbled on Practice to Deceive 2 - Electric Boogaloo, I wanted to keep going. Wanted to see what I could come up with next for Billy and friends. (Spoiler: I totally know. The whole book's plotted. Then again, so was Babysitter for a while and look at that bitch.)

My rambling point is probably; I won't stop writing entirely. That is, as long as you keep buying stuff occasionally.

Right. That'll do. I finished my lunch ages ago. I recommend this place. Wherever I may be.